You are chatting with a friend or someone you know when, suddenly, they tell you they have been feeling hopeless. They've stopped enjoying things. They say they don't know how much longer they can go on.

‘What do you ask next?’

That may be the more immediate challenge. We know how to write about suicide prevention, but we may still struggle to respond when someone tells us they are thinking about suicide. Sometimes we panic. Sometimes we fail to recognise the seriousness of what has been said. Sometimes we respond with reassuring words, but without actually knowing what might help.

Another struggle is whether we should address it directly. We may come across a chat, a social media post or a conversation that raises concern, and respond indirectly, asking the person not to do anything “foolish” and feeling that we have done our part. Often, it is because we don't know how to approach the subject directly — whether we should ask if they are referring to suicide, or whether getting involved is appropriate. Sometimes it is because suicide remains a taboo subject.

And sometimes, we confuse space with a gap, believing that giving someone space means leaving a concerning disclosure unanswered.

Suicide is a major public health challenge, with more than 700,000 people dying by suicide every year. 2026 marks the third and final year of the triennial World Suicide Prevention Day theme, “Changing the Narrative on Suicide”, which runs from 2024 to 2026 and carries the call to action: “Start the Conversation”. (WHO)

Professional psychologist Josily explains what such a conversation could look like and why directly asking someone about suicide does not increase the risk of suicidal thoughts.

“It is a common myth that asking someone about suicide will put the idea in their mind. There is no evidence to support that. Research shows that asking directly does not increase suicidal thoughts or psychological distress and may instead reduce anxiety and help the person feel understood,” she said.

Josily said people experiencing suicidal thoughts may already be struggling with shame, isolation or loneliness, making it harder for them to reach out for support.

“People experiencing suicidal thoughts may already be dealing with shame, isolation or loneliness, which can make it difficult to seek help. When we create a non-judgmental space for them to talk openly, we make disclosure easier and may create an important pathway to timely professional help,” she said.

What should we do when someone opens up?

So, how can we make such conversations safer and create a judgement-free space for someone to speak?

The first urge may be to panic, but that is exactly what we need to avoid. Often, talking about suicide can be a call for help. Josily says the person should be approached calmly and the situation handled strategically.

While having this conversation, “we need to listen rather than judge and rush to a solution,” she says.

Asking directly about suicide does not put the idea into someone's head. Instead, it can open a space for them to talk about what they are experiencing.

This is where the significance of changing the discourse and narrative becomes clearer. When someone is in a suicidal crisis, people often tell them to “think positively” or remind them of all the good things in their life. But have we ever asked ourselves whether that actually helps?

Many of our well-intentioned responses may instead shut down disclosure rather than help. So perhaps the more important question is: ‘What should we avoid saying?’

What if they say they are thinking about suicide?

Don't panic. Don't immediately start arguing or trying to convince them that they have reasons to live.

Instead, Josily suggests staying calm and trying to understand what the person is experiencing, including whether they have a plan or are in immediate danger.

If there is an immediate concern, she says the person should not be left alone. Try to stay with them and, where possible, separate them from potential means of self-harm or situations where they would be isolated.

If the person is extremely overwhelmed, helping them calm down can also be an immediate step. Simple grounding or breathing exercises may help them become more settled while further assistance is arranged.

Most importantly, connect them with a psychologist or other appropriate mental-health professional and seek help from a crisis or emergency helpline as soon as possible, particularly when the situation feels beyond what you can safely manage.

If the person is below 18, Josily also advises informing a parent, guardian or another responsible adult who can help ensure their safety and access to care.

What not to say?

Let's look at what we usually say — and how we can change the phrasing so that a person feels more at ease sharing their struggle.

Things we often say:

“You have so much to live for.”
“Think about your parents.”
“Others have bigger problems.”
“Don't think negatively.”
“Everyone goes through difficult times.”
“You don't really mean that.”

What we can say instead:

“I'm glad you told me. I'm here with you.”
“Can you tell me what's been feeling unbearable?”
“Are you thinking about suicide right now?”

They may not be in a state of mind to hear a motivational speech or someone else's story of struggle and survival. They may be at a breaking point and need to feel heard rather than cheered up.

This is what changing the narrative can look like at an individual level: shifting from silence and misunderstanding to openness, empathy and support, and creating an environment where people feel able to speak up and seek help.

When professional help is needed

Emotional support from friends or family can be important, but it cannot replace professional assessment and intervention when the situation is serious, or there is immediate risk.

Our role can sometimes be that of first support: listening, staying present and helping the person connect with appropriate care. The responsibility is not to solve the person's problems ourselves, but to recognise when more support is needed and help them reach it.

If the situation feels beyond our control, seeking professional or emergency support should not be delayed.

Support without crossing boundaries

We need to step into a situation at the right time, but we should not assume the role of a saviour or make the person emotionally dependent on us.

This is also where clinical intervention becomes important. Mental health professionals are trained to assess risk and provide appropriate intervention while maintaining professional boundaries.

Our role is not necessarily to solve the person's problems ourselves. Sometimes the most important thing we can do is recognise that someone needs more help than we can provide and help them reach it.

Suicide prevention beyond the individual

But changing the narrative is not only about how individuals talk to someone in distress. Suicide prevention also requires interventions at the community and policy levels.

The WHO LIVE LIFE interventions include:

Limiting access to the means of suicide

  • Interacting with the media for responsible reporting of suicide
  • Fostering socio-emotional life skills in young people
  • Early identification and support for everyone affected by suicide and self-harm

The implementation of these interventions is supported by cross-cutting pillars including situation analysis, multisectoral collaboration, awareness raising and advocacy, capacity building, financing, and surveillance, monitoring and evaluation. (WHO)

The LIVE LIFE interventions can be integrated into health, community and other settings as a starting point for a multi-level, multi-sectoral approach to suicide prevention.

Changing the narrative also means driving systemic change. It calls for suicide prevention and mental health to be a priority in public policy, urging governments and institutions to take action. This includes developing and implementing evidence-based strategies, improving access to quality care, and ensuring that people in distress receive the support they need.

Why is suicide a public health challenge?

The scale of the problem is one reason suicide cannot be viewed solely as an individual or mental-health issue.

More than 700,000 people die by suicide globally every year. Suicide is also the third leading cause of death among people aged 15–29.

Seventy-three per cent of global suicides occur in low- and middle-income countries.

The reasons behind suicide are multifaceted, influenced by social, cultural, biological, psychological and environmental factors across the life course.