Oh! Bangalore’s rich are being told “no.” Y’all know how I feel about people who think a fat cheque opens every door. In today’s court session of petty status cases, we have Your Bank Balance Vs The Waitlist. Spoiler: the waitlist wins.

1. Bangalore Club, Ashok Nagar

Waitlist: 20+ years | Entry fee: 5 lacs to 25 lacs

The OG, around since 1868, where Winston Churchill reportedly left behind an unpaid bill. You’ll wait two decades, and they’ll still check your surname.

2. Bangalore Golf Club, Sankey Road

Waitlist: 10 to 15 years | Membership fee: 5 lacs

Sunset-soaked fairways for people who say “I’m just working on my swing.” The fee is cheap but the patience is not.

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3. Bowring Institute, Ashok Nagar

Waitlist: vacancy based | Entry fee: 5 lacs to 20 lacs+

Fairy-lit colonial arches, palm trees and zero timeline. Someone has to leave before you can enter.

4. Century Club, Cubbon Park

Waitlist: 15 to 25 years | Membership fee: 1 lac to 8 lacs

Candlelit lawns and dinner chatter under the trees. It has the lowest fee on this list, which proves money was never the point.

5. Karnataka Golf Association, Embassy Golf Links

Waitlist: 10 to 20 years | Membership fee: 6 lacs to 60 lacs+

Tree-lined fairways and a plus sign doing a lot of heavy lifting on that fee.

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For starters, I was not aware that “access” now came with a decades-long probation period. Second, the cheque is the easy part. The real flex is patience and a grandfather who signed up in 1978.

So when someone drops “I’m a member” at your next dinner party, ask them one question, since when?