Bullying, suicides, murders: Why are our children becoming emotionless?

Kerala has witnessed a surge in youth violence in recent years, with cases of teenagers attacking even their own parents. The increasing frequency of such incidents has raised alarm across society, prompting the state government to introduce measures aimed at tackling contributing factors such as drug abuse, social media misuse and behavioural changes.

Despite various measures, incidents of youth violence continue to rise. Recently, a Class 10 student, Shahbaz, died after a clash between two groups of minors at a tuition centre in Thamarassery. He succumbed to his injuries after spending hours in the ICU at Kozhikode Medical College. An Instagram chat that surfaced after the incident suggested the attack was premeditated.

Experts argue that the problem runs deeper, rooted in socio-cultural influences, peer pressure, and the impact of cinema. A troubled childhood or a fractured family environment can further shape a child’s behaviour, often leading to aggression and violence.

The role of media and online influence

Dr Sandheesh, Clinical Psychologist at District Hospital, Kozhencherry, observes that the advent of social media and online interactions has significantly altered the behavioural patterns of the younger generation.

According to Dr Sandheesh, excessive exposure to violent content in movies, video games, and social media plays a crucial role in desensitising youngsters to violence.

“Modern cinema glorifies lawlessness and graphic violence, while video games depict killings in the most creative and brutal ways. Continuous exposure to such content imprints violent imagery in young minds, increasing the tendency to replicate such behaviour in real life,” he explained.

He also highlighted a growing trend of egocentric behaviour among children. “Previously, children understood that violence and wrongdoing had consequences, reinforced by religious and societal teachings. However, in today’s world, violence is often celebrated. This is evident in contemporary cinema, where law enforcement figures—who are meant to protect society—are portrayed committing crimes or engaging in killings. Films today frequently feature graphic violence and death, whereas older films approached these themes with artistic subtlety,” he noted.

The influence of online platforms also extends to illegal activities. “Some social media platforms function as a semi-dark web, where 18+ movies are freely available through illegal apps, drug transactions occur online, and explicit content is easily accessible to minors.”

He further explained the psychological impact of video games on young minds. “Many modern games feature a ‘second life’ concept, where players can revive themselves and continue playing after dying in a level. This may lead children to underestimate the real-life consequences of their actions, believing that setbacks are temporary or less severe,” he said.

Dr Sandheesh also pointed out a shift in learning patterns among students due to technology. “The new generation is far more technologically advanced than previous ones. Earlier, teachers conducted long-duration classes to impart knowledge. However, students today can access the same information in condensed formats through reels and other online sources. As a result, they often possess prior knowledge—even more than what is taught in class—leading to boredom during lessons,” he observed.

Parenting styles and the rise in violence

Dr Sandheesh warns that modern parenting styles, including permissive and helicopter parenting, are exacerbating the issue. “Children today are not disciplined the way previous generations were. Parents often give in to their demands, and as a result, youngsters grow up without learning how to handle stress or failure. When they finally face a crisis, they lack the coping mechanisms to deal with it, sometimes leading to extreme actions like suicide.” He noted that in stressful situations, children may exhibit violent behaviour or even resort to self-harm. There have been instances where students have taken their own lives after being denied access to video games.

Permissive parenting—a style where parents set few expectations and allow children to make most of their own decisions—has contributed to this problem. “Previously, parents were hesitant to give children phones and similar devices. However, now parents themselves are engrossed in them or provide such devices to their children just to keep them occupied,” he added.

On the other hand, helicopter parenting—where parents excessively monitor and control their children’s lives—can also have unintended negative effects. Overprotected children may struggle to develop resilience, problem-solving skills, or empathy. “When parents intervene in every minor conflict their child faces, the child does not learn how to navigate social challenges. This can lead to emotional outbursts or violent responses when they encounter difficulties,” he explained.

Real-life consequences of rising violence

Mihir Ahammed, Shahbaz

The consequences of this societal shift are becoming alarmingly evident in Kerala, with recent incidents exposing a chilling lack of empathy among young perpetrators. In Thamarassery, the brutal killing of 15-year-old Mohammed Shahbaz following a school rivalry has sent shockwaves through the community. Disturbing social media messages exchanged between the accused students showed a complete lack of remorse. The messages showed students casually discussing the attack with phrases like, "If I say, I mean it..I will kill Shahbaz, I will kill him... Go and look at his eyes, he has no eyes. We will see after two days..." and "There is no problem if he dies... police will not book a case..."

Shahbaz suffered severe head injuries, including a fractured skull and internal bleeding, after a minor dispute escalated into a violent altercation during a farewell programme.

Dr Sandheesh emphasized that social media, to some extent, has become a breeding ground for hate speech and bullying, where aggression is often rewarded. However, he also noted that these platforms are being used for positive purposes as well.

Children receive validation for their online hostility through likes and comments, which reinforces this behaviour in real-life interactions. When there are no immediate consequences online, youngsters assume the same applies to the real world. Another worrying trend is how online disputes frequently spill over into physical and verbal altercations

This disturbing pattern is not an isolated phenomenon. In Ernakulam, 15-year-old Mihir took his own life after enduring relentless bullying at a private school. His mother accused the school of covering up the abuse, revealing that her son had suffered extreme humiliation, including being forced to lick a toilet seat and having his head shoved into a flushing toilet. Even after his tragic death, some students celebrated his suicide in chat messages, displaying a shocking lack of empathy.

Violent behaviour is also evident beyond school environments. In the Venjaramoodu mass murder case, 23-year-old Affan brutally killed five members of his own family, using a hammer to bludgeon them to death. His confession revealed that the violence began after his mother refused to give him money. His disturbingly casual attitude toward the killings underscores a growing detachment from the value of human life.

Similarly, the case of extreme ragging at Government Nursing College, Kottayam, has shed light on the horrific physical and psychological torture inflicted by senior students on their juniors. Victims were subjected to severe abuse, including being wounded with a compass, forced to strip, and subjected to inhumane treatment such as having dumbbells hung from their private parts. The perpetrators recorded these acts and used the footage to silence their victims through intimidation.

Addressing the crisis: The need for change

The rise in youth violence is also closely linked to a decline in mental health awareness and support. Dr Sandheesh underscores the urgent need for more mental health professionals and accessible services. “Kerala does not have enough qualified mental health professionals to tackle this growing crisis. Instead of addressing these issues only after a tragedy occurs, proactive measures should be taken to prevent them,” he said.

He also called for a major overhaul of the school curriculum to better equip students with essential skills. “The syllabus should focus on skill development and life-skill education rather than recycling outdated content,” Dr Sandheesh suggested. “There should be awareness sessions on the dangers of excessive screen time, responsible online behaviour, and stress management.”

Additionally, fostering empathy in children is crucial. “Youngsters today struggle to feel for others. When a classmate dies, instead of mourning, they joke about it online. This mindset must change. We need stricter regulations on violent games and content that erode empathy,” he warned.

The psychological perspective: Thanatos and the drive for destruction

From a psychological perspective, Sigmund Freud's concept of Thanatos refers to the human drive toward aggression and self-destruction. Experts suggest that modern societal influences—such as violent media and lack of parental guidance—may be intensifying this destructive instinct among youngsters. “Every human has an inherent ‘animal instinct,’ a concept linked to Freud’s theory of Thanatos (the death instinct). In the past, societal rules and norms kept this instinct in check. However, modern society encourages its expression, leading individuals to act on their primal urges without fear of consequences,” Dr Sandheesh explained.

The alarming rise in youth violence, online bullying, and lack of empathy calls for immediate intervention. While technological advancements and societal changes have driven progress, they have also introduced new challenges that must be urgently addressed. Students need to know that help is available when they need it.

Warning signs of suicidal tendencies include academic decline, social withdrawal, lack of communication, sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, fluctuations in energy levels, and frequent discussions about death. Schools, parents, and policymakers must work together to instill values of empathy, responsibility, and resilience in the younger generation before the situation worsens further.