Your best friend's closet isn't a mood board, here's how to admire her style without becoming her.

A college dorm hallway in the mid-90s, one girl always stood out, cool, snowboarding with the guys on weekends, wearing a pair of rare patent-leather boots nobody else on the floor owned. It's easy to admire someone like that. It's another thing to go out and buy the exact same boots and then do it again with something else of hers a few months later. Maybe, these devotion earns a reputation.
Friends start joking about ‘Single White Female’. And underneath the joke is a real question, is copying a friend's style a compliment, or something closer to overstepping?
Fashion runs on borrowed ideas from strangers, influencers, that one woman at the coffee shop and nobody thinks twice about it. But when the "inspiration" is someone you actually know, the etiquette gets murkier.
Lauren Santo Domingo, cofounder of Moda Operandi, once joked that imitation is really "the sincerest form of stalkery" and she still means it. Her job, she says, is literally to help people discover new designers and trends, so borrowing ideas is the whole point of fashion. Still, she draws a line between being inspired by someone and trying to become them, you know the difference when you see it.
Psychologist Sarah Seung-McFarland, who studies the link between clothing and identity, says the tension comes from wanting two things at once, to belong, and to feel distinctly like yourself.
Also Read: How Ahaana Krishna's red bridal saree became an AI 'try-on' trend
Dressing like your friends can be a form of connection, but it stings when someone else starts wearing ‘your’ look, especially anything that feels central to who you are.
Stylist Imogen Lamport points to research showing the more personal a possession feels, the more irritating it is to see copied. Grabbing the same basic white tee as a friend? No big deal. Hunting down the exact rare vintage piece she's known for? That's a different story.
Santo Domingo has lived this firsthand when people have tracked down her hard-to-find vintage pieces and worn them in her own home, with zero acknowledgment which she says crosses from inspiration into impersonation.
So when should you ask first? For anything common or easily replaced, don't bother. For a friend's signature, hard-to-find item you'll both be wearing to the same events, a quick "would it bother you if I got this too?" goes a long way.
Lamport's rule of thumb, borrow the recipe but not the finished dish, copy the silhouette, not the literal item from the literal store. Santo Domingo also makes a habit of crediting people when she borrows a styling idea, which she says only makes fashion more fun.
Also Read: All the best looks from Abu Jani Sandeep Khosla's 40th anniversary gala
For the person being copied, the question is whether it's a single purchase or a pattern, full outfits, signature tricks, an entire aesthetic. Some of this mimicry is even unconscious, people naturally absorb the style of those they spend time with.
In the end, nobody owns a trend or a pair of shoes. But the closer the friendship, the rarer the item, and the more often it happens, a little acknowledgment or asking first keeps admiration from tipping into something else.
Published: 19 Sept 2026, 05:37 pm IST
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Liya Shanawas
liyashanawas@mpp.co.inLiya Shanawas is content writer at the Lifestyle section of Mathrubhumi English. She writes on identity, culture, design, travel, and the rhythms of everyday life
.Related Topics
Get Latest Mathrubhumi Updates in English
Disclaimer: Kindly avoid objectionable, derogatory, unlawful and lewd comments, while responding to reports. Such comments are punishable under cyber laws. Please keep away from personal attacks. The opinions expressed here are the personal opinions of readers and not that of Mathrubhumi.
