Veteran actress Shanthi Krishna, a familiar face in Malayalam cinema, has spoken candidly about the heartbreaking loss of her first child in a recent interview.

Appearing on the channel One 2 Talks, the actress revisited a painful chapter from her past, one that occurred during her marriage to late actor Sreenath.

Shanthi and Sreenath, one of the most talked-about couples in the film industry during the 1980s, married in 1984 after a romantic courtship. The two later parted ways in 1995. During their time together, the couple had a child, a baby girl, who tragically passed away soon after birth.

“I felt like I got numb when I heard my first baby had died,” Shanthi shared in the interview. She went on to say that she was around 26 at the time and had seen the baby’s face after a normal delivery. “She was fine. It was a normal delivery. Later I was told the doctor was a bit late to arrive,” she said, recalling the sequence of events that unfolded.

According to Shanthi, the baby was soon moved to an incubator and later transferred to another hospital. “When they arrived, I asked, ‘Is she dead?’ I didn’t cry then. I don’t think I cried for a few days. My mother got worried, wondering why I wasn’t crying,” she said. She added that ever since then, she tends to emotionally shut down during distressing times. “It’s like I freeze. It feels like my body is trying to protect me.”

The actress emphasised that this reaction wasn’t something she consciously chose. “People might have thought I didn’t have any emotions,” she noted. She also recalled instances where others may have misjudged her lack of visible grief. “When I went to houses where someone had passed away and I wasn’t visibly upset, I used to wonder why.”

One of the most emotional moments she remembered was the passing of her former father-in-law, Sreenath’s father. “I worried people would notice I wasn’t crying. He was Sreenath’s father, and I was very attached to him. Both my fathers-in-law were close to me. When I saw his body, I couldn’t hold back. I broke down.”

Shanthi also admitted that emotional release often comes at unexpected times. “Sometimes I cry while watching films,” she said, adding that emotional numbness can strike even in the most intense moments. “In certain emotional situations, it’s like the immune system of the body takes over. Even in intense, tragic moments, sometimes I don’t feel anything, it’s like I go numb.”

She concluded by addressing the common misconception that she was emotionally strong through these life events. “People often thought I was emotionally strong during those phases, but in truth, it wasn’t like that.”