‘Struck with insomnia, thought I was going to die’: BTS’s RM makes shocking revelations about mental health struggles
BTS frontman RM, also known as Kim Namjoon, has opened up about the harrowing mental health struggles he endured during his military service, revealing he battled severe insomnia and anxiety so intense it required psychiatric treatment. The revelation came during his first solo Weverse livestream following his official discharge from South Korea’s mandatory military duty.
The 29-year-old rapper and songwriter, who rejoined civilian life on June 10 alongside fellow BTS member V, went live later that evening to reconnect with fans — known as ARMY — after more than 18 months away. During the emotional session, RM candidly shared how the pressures of military life, combined with corporate turmoil at HYBE, left him deeply affected both mentally and creatively.
Sleep deprivation takes a dangerous turn
Opening up to fans, RM recalled suffering sleepless nights that stretched up to 78 hours without rest, saying, “There was a time I didn’t get a single minute of sleep for two days — almost 78 hours. I remember thinking, ‘Oh, I'm going to die at this rate.’” He revealed that despite psychiatric help and more than a year on medication, the fear of falling asleep still lingers.
The environment in the military — sharing sleeping quarters with 20 others — intensified the issue. “You’re sleeping with 20 other guys, right next to you — snoring, grinding their teeth,” he explained. The sleep deprivation became so extreme that it interfered with his basic functioning, pushing him to the brink of collapse.
Corporate chaos and mounting pressure
RM admitted that his mental health began to deteriorate around April and May last year — just before the release of his solo album ‘Right Place, Wrong Person’ — and coincided with escalating tensions within HYBE, particularly the ongoing conflict involving ADOR CEO Min Hee Jin and the girl group NewJeans. Though he did not name anyone, fans were quick to connect the dots and voice their concern over the timing of his emotional breakdown.
The star admitted feeling overwhelmed by a sense of failure and inadequacy during this period. “Why are you so weak? Haven’t you been through worse? Why are you struggling now — with sleep, with military life?” he said, echoing the internal dialogue he often had while trying to stay resilient. “I used to be so optimistic… I was Mr. ‘Why Not?’ But that doesn't really work in the army. I'm trying to bounce back.”
Fans rally behind RM after emotional livestream
For the first time since he was 14, RM said he found himself unable to write music. Instead, he turned to journaling to stay emotionally grounded. The experience left him physically and mentally exhausted, but he noted he’s now feeling “a little better,” although sleep still requires medication.
One of the most heartfelt moments of the livestream came when he directly addressed fans with the message: “Damnnn miss you, ARMYs. I was in the army, but I couldn't see you in the army, you know what I mean? I was in the army, but there was no ARMY.” The clip quickly went viral, resonating deeply with millions of fans who had eagerly awaited his return.
Hints at BTS reunion and new album
Despite the emotional weight of the live session, RM left ARMYs with a reason to be excited. He teased the group’s next chapter with a cryptic but promising message: “Stay tuned and be there for our next ALBUM. It’s gonna be HUGE.”
The seven members of BTS are expected to reunite as a full group in 2025, once all members have completed their mandatory military duties. Six members served in the South Korean army, while Suga has been fulfilling his obligations through social service — an alternative form of military duty. He is scheduled for discharge on June 21.
Jin, the group’s eldest member, completed his service in June 2024, followed by J-Hope, who was discharged in October last year. With Suga's return approaching, excitement among fans has reached fever pitch.
Under South Korean law, all able-bodied men aged 18 to 28 must serve between 18 to 21 months in the military as part of a national conscription system aimed at countering threats from North Korea. While athletes and classical artists may receive exemptions for exceptional achievements that boost national prestige, no such privilege is extended to K-pop idols.
However, in a 2020 amendment to the Military Service Act, South Korea's National Assembly allowed pop artists recognised for their global impact to defer enlistment until the age of 30 — a provision that enabled BTS to delay their service.
A heated public debate erupted in 2022 over whether BTS members should be granted full exemption. Ultimately, in October that year, their agency confirmed that all seven would voluntarily complete their duties, putting an end to speculation.
(With inputs from AP)