'If you're a man, endure': The crisis of traditional masculinity and men's mental health

Men are a significant segment of society that often receives less consideration and is frequently misunderstood. While it might seem paradoxical to hear these words from within a patriarchal society, it is a fact that although society grants men certain privileges in the name of morality and propriety, the question remains: how much space is truly given to a man's inner thoughts and pains as a human being?

Indian boys grow up in the shadow of traditional beliefs like "girls are the ones who cry" and "if you're a man, you must endure everything." Consequently, they often find themselves in a state of mental vulnerability. With no one to ask or talk to and unable to manage the flow of their emotions, a large number of men stand alone with their struggles. The genuine mental anguish of a man expressing anger and dissatisfaction rarely receives even a fraction of the consideration afforded to a woman.

The Pressure Created by Society

The root of this crisis lies embedded in traditional notions of gender roles. Many men are raised to believe that expressing emotions or seeking help is a sign of weakness. Research indicates that men tend to hold a more negative attitude towards mental health services. Behind this lie two major barriers:

• Public Perception: The societal judgment of "Can't a man handle all this?" and the fear of being perceived as weak.
• Internal Barrier: The internal negative belief of "I'm a 'man', aren't I? I can handle this," along with the anxiety of being seen as frail, deters them from seeking mental health support.

When society discourages emotional expressions considered contrary to traditional masculinity, men end up masking their internal conflicts and isolating themselves socially. This further deepens their mental health issues and reduces the likelihood of them seeking help.

A Global Crisis

Worldwide, approximately one million lives are lost each year to suicide. Men constitute a significantly higher proportion of this number. Untreated mental health problems, financial struggles, and isolation deepen this crisis.

Paths of Hope: A Vision for a Better Future

Even in the darkest times, a ray of light exists. The conversation around mental health is growing, transcending gender.

• Increasing Mental Health Literacy: It is time for the younger generation to understand that learning about emotions and mental health is a sign of strength.
• Creating Safe Spaces to Share Emotions: It is crucial to ensure an environment in families, schools, and workplaces where emotions can be shared without fear of judgment.
• Practical Support Systems: Peer support networks and counselling services specifically for boys and men need to be strengthened.
• Creating Role Models: When public figures (like sports stars) openly discuss their mental health struggles, it helps normalise the act of seeking help.

Finally...

Behind a man in society showing anger and dissatisfaction through his emotions often lies the hidden story of a boy who was not loved enough, not understood enough, and never learned to seek help. International Men's Day is an opportunity to open a dialogue for men. We can all work together to change this mindset. The time has come to propagate throughout society that seeking help is not a weakness, but a sign of self-awareness and strength.

Mental health is a right for everyone.

Sona Varghese is psychologist and PhD scholar in Psychology at VIT-AP University.