Life after being a ‘Dad’
How your life changes once you are a DAD...
June 17, 2018 when the world is celebrating the day to honor one of the most beautiful and indispensable relationship of mankind, Fatherhood, I cannot stop my mind from thinking about this very relationship in my life.
Be it pushing me on to stage to help me fight my stage fear, be it collecting my scribbles to framing my paintings, be it filing the newspaper cuttings where my name appeared when I was six years old to last week’s column, be it standing with me to choose my career, be it supporting me when I was going through the most difficult times in my life or be it being with me in raising my daughter, I have had him besides me for all.
I am sure like me most you have had a moment in each of your lives when you have stopped to wonder the matchless importance of your dad in your lives. Their influence infinite, their presence inimitable! They have been a pillar of strength for you and their unconditional love has never demanded anything from you other than your love and respect.
Now as we celebrate the spirit of Father's Day and cherish the presence of father in our lives, here I have brought my thoughts and suggestions for all those lovely gentlemen who have just taken up this beautiful role or are waiting to jump into the responsibility of fatherhood.
No one has to tell you that when you become a dad, your life is forever changed. People keep trying to prepare you for fatherhood by telling you the same tired clichés: "Say goodbye to your social life!" or "Get plenty of sleep now, because soon you'll be wishing you could”.
Sure, there is some truth in their advice, but there's also a bright side to the social and psychological changes you go through after becoming a dad.
Most guys need a little time to space out -- to think about nothing in order to recharge. Once you're a dad, you have to be creative to get this time back in your life, and you'll probably feel like you need it more than ever, no matter how much you love spending time with your new addition.
You may have to wake up 30 minutes earlier for work, or partner up with your wife to help each other grab a few do-nothing breaks. Designating regular time for yourself isn't selfish; it's essential to being a focused dad.
Now, you may constantly realize just how seemingly unqualified you are for the job of fatherhood; you may question your ability to care for a child, and your worthiness, every step of the way.
But rest assured--you're not the first dad to feel this way: We didn't come programmed on this whole parenting thing, but we were programmed to wing it.
The good news is, these sometimes seemingly forced friendships end up becoming great support groups. You instantly have new friends who relate to you, and they'll likely have good and relevant advice for you.
As for your existing single and/or childless guy friends, make time to do activities with them outside of your new-parents circle. That way, they can still relate to the old you and not feel intimated by the new you.
Gone are the days of being called just "a guy"; you will now be forever seen by all as a dad. The sports you used to play with your buddies eventually become the sports you teach your kids.
That overpriced latte on your desk in the morning has been replaced by work coffee in a mug that reads "I love you Daddy." And, honestly, you won't even mind the changes because the biggest change is your biggest reward: your kid.
(The author is the founder and Chief Executive Officer of Learning Arena, an e-learning company)