This is how a Malayali is!

Life always hangs in a balance between birth and death. Whatever happens in between the two, one thing is a must of an average Keralite—and that’s liquor. 


Hartal means hardship for more than half of the people of the country. But for a Malayali, it is an unexpected holiday worth celebrating. 


One can say, Malayalees are fearless lot; even if it means travelling without helmet in speeding two-wheelers. But they are very caring too; they will ensure that the co-traveller is safe with the helmet. 


We Malayalees like to keep everything new and fresh. Perhaps for this reason, the polyethylene covers of the car seats will remain there for over one year or so. Never mind if it discoloured or torn. 


We do not waste anything. The best example is our tireless struggles with the almost-empty toothpaste tube in the morning. We ensure that even the last stuff is squeezed out; even if it means operating on the toothpaste tube. 


It is a habit for most of us to peer into the well while visiting a relative’s or friend’s house. We know that there is water in it; but still we continue to do this. 


The society has a bad name of not having enough ceremonial and formal greeting practices. This may be because they have seen our habit of waving at each train that passes by.


It has been years since aeroplanes started to roam our skies. But still, we never fail to look up if we hear the sound of the plane.


Malayalees believe in team work even if it means giving a company to our fellow men peeing on the roadside.   


If the TV remote control had a mouth, it should have cried out loudly and filed a petition before the labour court. We make it work hard and hard and yet its battery runs out, we first tap it with our hands and then bang it on the table. Then we take out the battery and scratch it against the floor. Only then, we look for any other option including changing the battery. 


Again, another example of a Malayali’s stingy ways of life—Think the shampoo bottle is empty. When others go to the shop to buy a new one, we fill some water in the empty bottle and you know, it runs for another five days. 


Malayalees are fond of ornamental utensils and never care to spend a lot on that. Also, we buy a new beautiful cupboard with glass doors to keep it. But we do not use a single utensil till our death. 


We are famous for our laziness and fondness for sleeping while at home. But once we get out of the country, we are the most hardworking people and are ready to do any job. 


Kerala is witnessing an influx of other state workers nowadays. But we address all of them, be a Sikh, a Tamil or a Bihari, we address them with one name – Bengali. 


We are proud of our literacy and rising of education levels.  Each of us have our own stand in universal issues, be it the American Presidential elections or the conflicts in the Middle East and Africa. But still we lose lakhs and crores of money by falling prey to silly fraudsters


Malayalees tend to look at rich people with suspicious eyes. They tag every rich man as a black money holder. 


Hot water, though not a favourite, is a must for a Malayali if he is eating out.


There is nothing like a parotta that can unite all the Malayalees, irrespective of their caste, creed or region. 

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